I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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