I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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