Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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