We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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