i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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