remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
