Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
