I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
