I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize