she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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