He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
