let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
