I think scott just propositioned me for sex
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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