I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
