Can Purell be used as lube?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize