called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
