clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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