My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
