He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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