It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
ok first of all what the fuck
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
