I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
its not stalking. its research.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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