ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
