Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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