she looked like the before picture.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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