Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize