ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
