Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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