Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
