Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
being pregnant is like rehab
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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