is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
