But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
