I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize