i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
