So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
