you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
