I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
