WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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