no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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