***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want her autograph on my taint
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
