I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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