I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize