you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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