Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
