I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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