I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
