I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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