Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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