I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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