first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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