Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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