Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
