sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
