Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
