i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
