you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
