If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
