im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Found your dick twin last night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
