very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
