Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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