peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
