Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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