I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
