i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
